Times Are Changing, Victims Aren't
“Wear something different next time you go out,” my dad said to me as I was recalling the demeaning catcall my friends and I had experienced just minutes before on what originally had felt like a normal Friday night.
Earlier that day, I was told by a young female “You should not change for men. It’s their problem, not yours.” So, if it was really true that I could wear whatever I want to, and it’s not my fault if I become a victim of sexual harassment, then why did my dad tell me differently? Why did my dad seem to think our outfit choices put us in unsafe situations and could have provoked an old man to say, “Hey, are you shaking that ass for me?”
My dad was raised during a time when sexual harassment was not talked about and, thus, is not as well informed about the topic as young teens and adults are today. The result of his lack of education surrounding sexual harassment is that he assumes men and other violent people will continue to act as they wish and will not change. And, because they are not changing, I, therefore have to in order to keep myself safe.
“This is the world we live in, and all you can do is protect yourself. Control what you can control,” he told me. He did not blame the occurrence on me, but rather suggested that I change because perpetrators are too difficult to change.
Contrary to the old fashioned, out-of-date mindset my dad has, the young woman who spoke to me taught me that sexual harassment is not the woman’s fault. Men are the cause of the problem. She understands that women should not have to change themselves in order to be safe, and, in actuality, men have to change in order to create a safer society for everyone.
Educators about sexual harassment have come to my school to inform the community. The #MeToo movement has given victims a space to share their experience. Social media accounts provide a platform for people to speak up against sexual harassment and violence to connect with others alike. All of these ways of educating and informing the public about the severity of sexual violence were not available when my parents were growing up, and, therefore, they had less exposure to the topic.
In contrast to the past- when people accepted sexual harassment as inevitable and, therefore, victims were told to change to protect themselves- people today are activity engaged in trying to reverse the stereotype that sexual violence is a result of a females acting out of line. Instead of changing the way victims behave, people today are working to change the normalized actions of perpetrators.
The culture around sexual harassment is changing as young voices refine who’s at blame for these occurrences. It's time for adults to be taught the same modern lessons of sexual violence that the youth are learning in order to see a change in societal behavior of cat-calling and other forms of harassment.
